Texts From Last Night

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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram

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  (267): worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram http://tfl.nu/sbpo
  Replies (11) Good night (477) Bad night (2472) Order T-Shirt
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  (253): View more from Washington

  My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?

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  (253): My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable? http://tfl.nu/rdbs
  Replies (13) Good night (2662) Bad night (689) Order T-Shirt
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  (905): View more from Toronto

  Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich

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  (905): Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich http://tfl.nu/gjvv
  Replies (107) Good night (822) Bad night (14696) Order T-Shirt
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  (858): View more from California

  I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking

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  (858): I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking http://tfl.nu/c48d
  Replies (9) Good night (611) Bad night (2309) Order T-Shirt
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.

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  (812): My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too. http://tfl.nu/4mju
  Replies (98) Good night (3655) Bad night (8930)
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  (315): View more from New York

  can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...

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  (315): can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits... http://tfl.nu/8lcs
  Replies (7) Good night (614) Bad night (4092) Order T-Shirt
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  (954): View more from Florida

  I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.

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  (954): I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay. http://tfl.nu/trm1
  Replies (8) Good night (2935) Bad night (776) Order T-Shirt
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  (386): View more from Florida

  its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.

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  (386): its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea. http://tfl.nu/ey40
  Replies (3) Good night (1118) Bad night (1801) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.

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  (617): Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night. http://tfl.nu/xmy8
  Replies (4) Good night (2042) Bad night (810) Order T-Shirt
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.

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  (504): That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop. http://tfl.nu/jrhx
  Replies (2) Good night (1313) Bad night (548) Order T-Shirt
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him

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  (317): He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him http://tfl.nu/vd38
  Replies (10) Good night (1816) Bad night (551) Order T-Shirt
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  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.

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  (787): I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers. http://tfl.nu/zztx
  Replies (1) Good night (510) Bad night (784) Order T-Shirt
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Sounds like sex on a twister board.

  (1-541): View more from Oregon

  An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...

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  (541): Sounds like sex on a twister board. (1-541): An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing... http://tfl.nu/ydi6
  Replies (2) Good night (982) Bad night (270) Order T-Shirt
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.

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  (859): Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club. http://tfl.nu/0u25
  Replies (6) Good night (371) Bad night (668) Order T-Shirt
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth

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  (402): Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth http://tfl.nu/4hkn
  Replies (16) Good night (596) Bad night (3237) Order T-Shirt

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