You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
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