I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Small penises have feelings too.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize