I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
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we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I'm bleeding and have questions
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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