Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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