they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize