bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I should be sponsored by Trojan
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
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