How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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