Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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