3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
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