I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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