i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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