When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize