So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
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The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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