ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize