A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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