From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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