I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
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Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
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He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
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