Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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