First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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