These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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