Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
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she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
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So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
i need some magic done to my vagina
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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