the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize