I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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