Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
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