it's too hot outside to masturbate.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Randomize