Texts From Last Night

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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  How drunk are you??

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I'm flawless.

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  (860): How drunk are you?? (732): I'm flawless. http://tfl.nu/mygo
  Replies (8) Good night (2098) Bad night (477)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.

  (512): View more from Texas

  Did it?

  (806): View more from Texas

  Not as such, no.

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  (806): I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes. (512): Did it? (806): Not as such, no. http://tfl.nu/c480
  Replies (37) Good night (474) Bad night (4441)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  Do you want the good news or bad news first?

  (678): View more from Georgia

  bad news

  (205): View more from Alabama

  The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.

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  (205): Do you want the good news or bad news first? (678): bad news (205): The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos. http://tfl.nu/6wx8
  Replies (17) Good night (3907) Bad night (1476)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name

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  (571): I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name http://tfl.nu/x94s
  Replies (24) Good night (6104) Bad night (897) Order T-Shirt
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.

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  (514): i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic. http://tfl.nu/xhhe
  Replies (25) Good night (919) Bad night (6117) Order T-Shirt
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.

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  (864): For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before. http://tfl.nu/hdcs
  Replies (35) Good night (8700) Bad night (1053) Order T-Shirt
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?

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  (515): I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive? http://tfl.nu/wveq
  Replies (45) Good night (5653) Bad night (1448) Order T-Shirt
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?

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  (419): You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text? http://tfl.nu/28br
  Replies (8) Good night (4067) Bad night (976) Order T-Shirt
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me

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  (775): I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me http://tfl.nu/i130
  Replies (12) Good night (1420) Bad night (721) Order T-Shirt
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  (415): View more from California

  I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.

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  (415): I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW. http://tfl.nu/hy3p
  Replies (6) Good night (2279) Bad night (872)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.

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  (810): You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored. http://tfl.nu/wqg4
  Replies (11) Good night (2768) Bad night (590) Order T-Shirt
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  (478): View more from Georgia

  this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.

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  (478): this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this. http://tfl.nu/syfp
  Replies (8) Good night (1195) Bad night (750) Order T-Shirt
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.

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  (715): Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor. http://tfl.nu/kri4
  Replies (10) Good night (1262) Bad night (1899)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk

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  (224): At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk http://tfl.nu/rjll
  Replies (3) Good night (871) Bad night (583) Order T-Shirt
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.

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  (513): Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C. http://tfl.nu/3wtt
  Replies (4) Good night (629) Bad night (273) Order T-Shirt

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