Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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