hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
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