Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize