The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
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Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
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His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
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