Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
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