FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex in a hospital.. check
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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