please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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