arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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