I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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