Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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