On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
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