just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
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