there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
tell me about the eggs
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