His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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