I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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