Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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