wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize