you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize