a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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