Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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