worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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