I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
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