I'm really into asian looking animals
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
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